Routine. Did you get that? R-O-U-T-I-N-E In an autistic person's life, routine is what keeps you sane. It's what keeps you connected. It saves your life. This is specially true of autistic children. In a world that often makes no sense to them at all because it is so damned unpredictable, routine is the one thing they can rely on.
Every night for many years now, the children's bedtime routine has been the same.
7:55pm Meds
8:00pm Ophelie goes up to wash, brush her teeth, get ready for bed.
8:30pm Sebastien goes up to do the same.
8:40ish Ophelie calls Vin to come upstairs. Together, they read stories, talk about the day, play with her plush animals... it's their special time.
8:55ish Sebastien comes downstairs and asks me if I want to come and lay down with him. I say yes. If I feel like teasing him, I say no; he then grins and demands I stop joking! We go up, he gets something to cuddle and we lay down in my bed face to face holding hands with no light except the blue bulb bathing the room in a soft relaxing glow. He has to have the blanket up to his chin. He has to hold my hands a certain way. The blue light has to be on... no other light.
9:10ish Seb and I get up and he goes to lay down in his own bed. He lays facing the wall, holding the soft toy he's had since birth, Toutou La Souris, and these days he also holds Eve from the movie Wall-E. He puts his Spongebob cushion over his head, pulls the covers up to his nose, I lean over him, pull the cushion away and kiss him, wish him good night and I walk away, closing the door behind me.
If for any reason this routine can't be observed, the kids get anxious. Sometimes, they get very anxious... those nights are hard and the kids wake up cranky the next day.
I sometimes wonder if Seb, at thirteen, is too old to be laying in his parents' bed with his mum, holding hands... but it's a tender moment... a daily moment of physical closeness and physical closeness is a major issue with autistic people so surely there can't be anything but good coming out of a daily moment of physical closeness. Through this simple act, I am teaching my son that it is good to touch another human being, that it is good to let another human being touch you. This may seem quite obvious to the uneducated (about Autism) neurotypical reader but to Auties and people who know us, it's an accomplishment!
I think I'll just let Seb decide when he's too old for this...
Nerf Armory
12 years ago
