During the summer of 2005, I underwent what I believe I will look back on as some of my most challenging times as a mother. I was pregnant with my second child, filled with a myriad of emotions regarding baby’s arrival – was this a little boy or a girl? What would he/she look like? How would the birthing go? I hoped that he or she would be healthy, that our transition into a new existence together would be smooth. I was also experiencing a plummeting sensation in my relationship with my older son, Angus. I was certain that he would soon be diagnosed with Autism. I was increasingly worried by his behaviour, and my lack of understanding of him, aching for a connection I could comprehend. Searching for understanding led me to a website created by a mother of two children on the Autism spectrum. Her son Sébastien was the eldest, diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Non-specific, of the Autistic variety), and her daughter, Ophélie also had a PDD-NOS diagnosis, related to Asperger’s Syndrome, often associated with a “higher functioning” end of the spectrum.
Such a weight was lifted in reading through this site. I had to find its creator, this mother expressing so much love at a time when I felt my motherhood scales tipping heavily into frustration. I almost instantly felt relief, less alone, inspired that I could reconnect with my child. I was also relieved that should my second child also exhibit symptoms of Autism, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
Locate that mother I did, via the email address on her site. She was compassionate, funny, full of life, creativity and so genuine in her response. Since that time we have exchanged countless emails and messages of support, release and understanding. Her name is Annie Trepanier, a resident of Gatineau, Quebec and one heck of a force to be reckoned with.
Diagnosis was not an easy process for Annie, her husband, Vincent Allain, and their children. A great deal of experience caring for children in her youth worked in her benefit – and resulted in early detection of PDD in her children. Her recognition of the absence of some distinct milestones of early childhood, as well as the presence of some behaviour highly symptomatic of Autism, contributed to the relentless pursuit of help and support for Sébastien and Ophélie. Her children were blessed with what every child needs, particularly those with special needs – a ferociously determined advocate and researcher.
Her tireless absorption of the facts and figures of the Autism spectrum provided an unexpected twist…her own informal diagnosis. As a child Annie had also undergone therapy related to social behaviour. At the time, the professionals responsible for her assessment attributed her personal challenges at the time to her reaction to her parents’ divorce. In Annie’s research regarding her son’s symptoms and diagnosis, she had recognized him, attained a clearer concept of how to approach his needs. When researching her daughter’s diagnosis, she was faced with a mirror. While Annie does not have a formal PDD/Asperger’s diagnosis, the recognition of an overwhelming number of familiar thought patterns, behaviour and social challenges made it clear for her. Her perception of others, and her difficulty in relating to many of her peers were suddenly not simply quirky aspects of her personality, but definable, occurring for a reason. Her interpretation of the world, her world, and her interactions with both could be explained.
In August of 2008, as the commencement of the school year approached, Annie and Vincent noticed a change in their son, Sébastien’s behaviour. He began what seemed like a period of regression, quickly associated with anticipating the return to school. While his diagnosis is related to Autism, his level of functioning was considerably higher than the peers with whom he was sharing a high school classroom, teacher and educators. While school was going relatively well, the form of education Sébastien was receiving at the high school level was not well-suited to his needs. In a radical decision, a mere few days before the start of school, Annie and Vincent made a huge move – an attempt at homeschooling would be made.
The experiment was a success. While extremely demanding with regards to time and resources, Annie achieved a rhythm and routine that worked. Fieldtrips and a great focus on subjects of high interest to Sébastien allowed him to progress at a rate personalized for him. With his second year of homeschooling underway, Sébastien is continuing to enjoy learning from home.
While Ophélie experienced some social challenges, her need and interest for interaction with others was more prevalent than that of Sébastien. The school environment worked in her favour as a rule. However, her sense of judgment in some more serious social situations became a concern, leading Annie and Vincent, with Ophélie’s involvement in the decision, to begin a homeschooling routine for her as well. Ophélie has doubled the student population, joining her brother in their “homeschoolhouse.” While Ophélie and Sébastien still project some of the challenging behaviour of other teens their age, at twelve and fourteen years of age, they are flourishing in a new school environment, designed, and constantly adapted, for them.
Four years have passed since my first communication with Annie. In that first year my second son, Leander, arrived (healthy and sans PDD) at the very outset of my eldest son, Angus’s diagnosis with Autism and his first intensive ABA (Applied Behavioural Analysis) therapy. While I was extremely fortunate to have a network of help and love from family, friends and my community, support from someone who had a greater understanding for what I was experiencing was an immeasurable relief. Connection with other families living with Autism increases on a regular basis, with the development of many online support groups.
While the original website dedicated to her children has been closed, Annie has developed a website for the “Baboutopia Homeschool”, featuring photos, projects, blogs, videos, a fundraising section to help pay for resources, and other helpful information. Visit the site at: http://web.me.com/mommybab
Learn more about Annie, Vincent, Sébastien and Ophélie, the origin of Baboutopia, and their adventures as a family, by listening to the full interview with Annie Trepanier, tonight, on DH Radio on CJMQ 88.9 fm (or listen live at www.cjmq.fm) from 9:00 – 11:00, with your columnist and host, Sheila Q.!
Nerf Armory
12 years ago
